Still Breathing, Still Dancing

Despite pain in my left foot during the past year and a half, I have continued dancing and conditioning as much as I can. For quite some time I have feared I would never be able to dance properly again. I feel incredibly lucky that I have been able to walk, stand, and even run mostly normally throughout. Pointing my left foot would bring sharp, stabbing pain, and sometimes I felt like my foot would want to "crack" apart from my ankle!

Performing through it all!

After extensive physical therapy and finally an MRI and CT Scan, the podiatrist discovered an unusual structure between two bones. Apparently I have an "extra" growth where there shouldn't be one, thus causing the pain. Thankfully, it is fibrous and not osseous (meaning the growth is not comprised of actual bone). After receiving a steroid injection into my ankle to break up and soften the growth, my range of mobility has increased. I still have to be careful, though, and I make sure I warm up my ankle properly before attempting any activity.

(And no, it's not that kind of steroid - I am happy to report that I did not grow an unusually muscular left foot after receiving the injection!)

The podiatrist recommended surgery, and I confess I would like to avoid that unless absolutely necessary. I am encouraged by the effects of the steroid injection and will monitor the progress. And every day, no matter how tired I feel before I start my morning exercises, I remind myself how fortunate I am to even have the choice to be mobile. No matter what happens, I will dance on, even if it is only in my heart. 

Going Tribal

In costume for the Wa Fire Dance

It’s not too often that I get to let my hair down, literally, and it’s even more rare that I get to toss it about without reserve. I’ve never been in a mosh pit or engaged in much head-banging. Maybe I’m missing out, but in dancing this unique piece I don’t particularly feel any loss. 

The Wa people live in the south of China, in the Yunnan province, bordering Burma and Thailand. They also live in those countries as well, but since some technically live within China’s borders I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to learn their dance and culture as a part of my Chinese ethnic dance studies. 

People around the world have tended to respect, fear, and revere the elements as part of cultural tradition. The Wa have their fire worship. The dance I’ve been working on and have performed is a tribute to the nurturing and fearsome powers of fire. It is absolutely the most non-classical and raw tribal movement I’ve ever formally learned, and I love it. 

My hair was to the prop, and the method of head-thrashing was very precise. I admit it felt pretty good once I got the hang of it, as long as I was fully warmed up. Whiplash is not fun.

Having fun after the show with fellow dancer Jenny Fong!

My teacher suggested I flat-iron my hair to make myself look more like the traditional image of a Wa girl, i.e. with long and very incredibly straight hair. My hair is poofy, wavy, and generally given to its own ideas of what shape it will take any particular day. From experience I know that flat-ironing would tame my locks down for about five minutes before rebelling, so I knew that would be a losing battle. (My compromise? Lots of pins.) Besides, I thought: Hey, I’m the person dancing this piece so I might as well be me but in as Wa a way as possible, through my movements. 

While the overall effect of the dance is to be wild and free, I discovered that it takes even more control and discipline to create movements that have form and character; otherwise it becomes nothing more than a messy romp.

That said, even my teacher observed that my body took to this tribal style and choreography more quickly than anything else I’ve ever learned. My mother did always say to me that I was a little wild thing.

A Rose for Valentine's Day

Romance can be experienced in many different ways, whether enjoyed as a couple, with close friends - even family - or during a quiet moment of reflection as an individual in this wonderful world.

I love this ethnic Uighur dance because it celebrates the idea of romance and all the giddy possibilities that come with it, but it's enacted through the bright imagination of one. The inspiration? A red rose. That's all it takes, sometimes!

Wishing You a wonderful Valentine's Day, wherever you are, whoever you're with (or not!), and however you choose to spend your day. An excuse isn't necessary, really. Celebrate life!  

The Show Will Go On!

My left foot was in fairly excruciating pain and I had a couple of hours to decide if I was going to pull out of the show that night. Despite the painkillers and anti-inflammatories, every time I even began to point my foot a sharp stab shot through me, up almost to my knee. I knew I'd landed a bit off one too many times from jumping in rehearsal, and the tiny bones in the top of my foot were probably misaligned. All too often, dancers ignore pain as part of daily wear and tear, until it's a bit late.

I thought I wouldn't be able to dance that evening every time I felt the pain and looked at my swollen foot, but the only times I'd pulled out of a performance were because I was either completely bedridden with the flu or I'd injured myself to the point of not being able to physically leave the house. In other words, if I could get my body out the door, I would dance.

And so I danced, and during those moments onstage I was happy. I could have danced more  - danced bigger without fear - but oddly enough there was no fear in my heart even though my body registered the pain. In fact, I was more anxious about watching the video later, preparing to wince at a half-baked performance. I was relieved to see that I appeared to be enjoying myself as much as I had felt while dancing onstage.

These are the times I pray that the love that burns inside me shines brighter than any technical shortcomings. I hope that you, too, can feel a bit of the joy I wish to give every chance I get to dance.