How the Grinch Stole my (limited) Flexibility

With the winter comes colder weather, and hot cocoas and wonderful get-togethers with friends and family. However, it also means very grumpy muscles! Lately my body doesn't seem to want to extend in any way. Most noticeable is how my back doesn't want to bend. At all. This casual photo was taken in the studio after I'd warmed up, and yet my back still doesn't want to cooperate. My legs are slightly less complaining (only slightly). They say ginseng helps, but I'd say continual stretching and more sleep would be the ticket. I'm good on the first, not so good on the second count. Will Santa give me a more flexible back for Christmas? Ha, only hard work will do!

Dreaming

This is another from the recent photo shoot. The photographer told me to look like I'm dreaming, so I thought of cherished memories of times I've treasured with people dear to me, and how I long to have those times once more. I feel this all the time, but especially at Christmas, when all the songs you hear are of spending time with loved ones. The holidays are my favorite time of the year, and yet it's easy to find myself wistful, the sweet pang of yearning swirling about me like the beautiful music I hear.

Checking Light Levels

Recently I had a photo shoot with 3 photographers, and it was fascinating to hear them discuss how to achieve the best lighting with the placement of lights and levels. One of the photographers captured the other taking a light reading. It does make an interesting composition.

Fans -> Leafy Greens

Rehearsals are well underway for upcoming performances, and some new costumes should come in fairly soon, which is always exciting! For Chinese New Year I'll be dancing "Jasmine" again, which is pictured here. The fans are beautiful when opened, but when closed, they resemble Chinese green vegetables. Don't you think so? After a couple of hours or rehearsal, I always wanted to eat green vegetables!

... when I'm awfully low

There are days when I feel really low. Everybody has those days. You just don't want to get out of bed because there's trouble at work, and on top of that I find no peace in my heart. But I should be happy that I am alive and otherwise have no complaint, and when I change into my practice clothes and go into the comforting feeling of warming up, it doesn't matter if my muscles complain because the weather's getting colder. Before I know it, I'm smiling again, dancing. It gives me something else to concentrate on, to strive for.

Even though my troubles inevitably come back to me afterwards, I can't imagine how I would feel if I hadn't danced. Some days, I fear I might just implode. Thank goodness I have a body that, so far, functions well (knock on wood). I hope I'll always be able to stretch my limbs and bring myself that much closer to happiness.

Seeing onself from the outside

Sometimes I receive photos of myself in performance, and although I know it's me, I think: "Really? I look like that?" It's true that we don't see ourselves most of the time, and even if I have the opportunity, I don't really look at myself with all that much consideration. It's a bit like hearing one's own voice - it's startling, and it causes me much embarrassment. In the dance pictured here, I'm supposed to look serious and intent, but somehow I look rather oddly manic.

It just occurred to me that I tend to spend more time observing myself from the inside - mentally, emotionally - rather than from the outside. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm tidy, I can go out and face the world!

Don't mind the problems, just dance!

After all the performances earlier this month, I'm finally back to learning new dances and gearing up for the holiday season. The photo here was taken by a journalist who was at one of the China 60 year celebrations I danced at. I have a big dilemma with this costume: What do I do with my hair? I'm a girl, dancing as a boy, and while my hair is short now, it obviously didn't stay pinned to my head as I leapt and whirled through the dance (as you can see, it looks terrible). I don't want to cut my hair boy-style because it will make all my other costuming difficult since they all require hair that can be swept back. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm also very ignorant and lazy when it comes to anything hair-related.

I also had a costume tragedy after the performance - my poor mother tried to be helpful and washed it, which one can never do with costumes! - and the blue color bled all over the white of the overshirt. I'm getting a new one made in Shanghai, sigh. Oh, and the head of the rose fell off before I went onstage, prompting a desperate attempt to tape it back to the stem. Despite these problems, I hope the audience enjoyed the show.