The Good Pain ... The Bad Pain

Every athlete knows what I'm talking about. There's the good pain that comes from pushing one's body beyond the limit; it's the only way to get stronger. And then there's the bad pain, from injury. I've certainly had both, but I definitely prefer the former although it's difficult right now to think about it because I hurt all over, quite a lot!

I'm rehearsing a dance where I have to do a backbend on a tall Chinese war drum and kick off of it backwards until I land on the floor. Funny how the floor seems so far away from atop the drum. After some rough landings I was too scared to kick full out and basically ended up standing on my hands on the edge of the drum with my legs in a split in the air, upside-down. Many times. Needless to say, my triceps hurt. And so does everything else. Hopefully my muscles will learn and I'll get over my fear quickly.

I also have to learn how to flip off the drum without hands ... I swear I'll be brave enough soon.

Time to Rest ... But Not Really

There's been a bit of a lull lately besides some commercial shoots, which is nice because it's given me time to 1) recover from my mysteriously sprained right ankle from a month ago; still don't know what happened, and 2) concentrate on rehearsing the dances for upcoming shows.

Since I leave for Shanghai to dance in less than two weeks(!) I really hope I don't get sick or injured because I'd like to be able to perform at my best. I feel that the pressure's on, but at the same time I hope I can simply enjoy working with some of the best dancers and directors that China has. This is an opportunity I hadn't even imagined I would have, so I'll give it my best!

A small thought on Happiness

The gentleman who took photos at one of the performances gave me this shot. He told me he liked this one because "everything in your face and your body shows pure happiness." What a very nice compliment this was! Needless to say, I'm very humbled.

It also made me think: How often do we feel pure happiness? Does it exist? I think I can think of some moments in my life that come close. But certainly they don't come often. Perhaps it must be this way, for without sorrow can there be happiness? Although, the more I think of it, I believe happiness is just what it is. If it's real to you, you know it when it happens - maybe it's that simple. But enough of the pondering; let's just say I look forward to more happy moments in life!

Spice Girls ... Szechuan Style!

I bet you're thinking, "What's up with the love bug outfit?" I know, I know. But actually, I am a Szechuan girl who can't live without spicy hot pot even though it makes me sweat and jump around like a maniac. That about sums up this very mischievous and fun romp of a dance. It took awhile for me to get used to the deliberate arm and head motions that characterize this style, and even more for running around and yelling "麻辣!!!" (think "Ma-LAAA!") in a high-pitched voice. Now, my natural voice is far from high, so this was quite interesting to say the least.

But that's really what it's about - letting go of yourself and telling the story through movement. This is less a story than a tableau, but it's the same. In those few minutes onstage, I exist only to love hot pot and everything spicy. What a fabulous life that would be. Although, I really doubt that eating hot pot makes one beautiful, as the lyrics say: "火鍋越吃越吃越漂亮!"

Dreams of Marriage (onstage, at least)

In contrast to Lady Yuji's suffering discussed in the last post, this dance was all about the realm of happy possibilities. A young girl envisions the man she'll marry and plays everything out in her imagination. She's embarrassed even to herself about thinking of such things but her curiosity wins over. This has got to be the hardest acting lesson I've ever had, because I've never done "cute and girly" like this before - it's from the Chinese opera style "Hua Dan" (花旦) role, portraying a flirtatious and vivacious girl. I don't think this comes naturally to me, but I tried my darndest. I was encouraged when, after one of the shows, some audience members told me they loved the way I "teased" my imaginary fiance/husband.

Actually, that was one of the most difficult points for me. During the course of rehearsing this dance, I worked very hard on this "teasing". It seems simple enough; I toss my red handkerchief outward, but getting it just right was a challenge! At one point my teacher even told me to picture someone so my actions would be more real, more natural. Oh boy. Somehow, eventually I just let myself dance and she was satisfied enough. I should still work on it, though.

虞姬的悲歌 - Lady YuJi's Lament

I've written about this dance before - YuJi, the beloved concubine of Xiang Yu, King of Chu (232 - 202 BC), knows that there's no way they can win the battle, surrounded as they are by Liu Bang's forces. It's such a heroic act of love that she kills herself with his sword, but the suffering of her lord must have been complete upon losing her. So many stories like these have become legends in their own right, and it's fascinating to study them.

My favorite segment of this dance is when YuJi fondly recalls serving her lord tea, in happier times. Portraying her in this moment was a joy and also difficult - her love and devotion to her king is absolute, and every movement and expression must convey this to the audience. I am alone onstage, but I hope that everyone could see that he was right there with YuJi, in her heart. This photo, taken during one of my performances, is where she hears Liu Bang's troops approaching; fear overtakes her.

新疆小伙子？！ ... Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy belated Valentine's Day! It's been quite busy with Lunar New Year celebrations and other events. This time I got to dance in everything from a 50 year anniversary party of the city of Union City to the first joint production that CCTV (the main television station in China) has done with an organization outside the country. It might have aired in China and in the San Francisco Bay Area already; I've honestly been too busy to check ...

This photo depicts a piece from the northwestern part of China (Xinjiang). It is a charming tableau of a young man in love, and he is exuberant after having received a rose from his sweetheart. Because this is a dance meant to be performed by a man, I've had to work very hard not only to keep up with the energy and technical ability required, but it's also been a challenge to learn how to move like a brash youth. The Uighur are very different from the Han in the east, and there is definite Kazakh influence from the costuming, the music, to the instrument the youth holds to serenade his love. This is one of the best pieces I've ever performed and I hope I have opportunities to repeat it so that I may become more skilled in speaking to the audience with every movement. One small thing: I hope to have a photograph in which I'm not wearing the same makeup meant for another (female) dance - it looks awful in this getup!